Kitty's Mix-Tape Read online

  PRAISE FOR KITTY’S MIX-TAPE

  “Comfort food for the urban fantasy soul. Carrie Vaughn never disappoints. It was so nice to see my friends again! If you’ve loved Kitty’s adventures, you have been waiting for this book!”

  —Seanan McGuire, author of Come Tumbling Down and Every Heart a Doorway

  “A Carrie Vaughn story is a guarantee of quality entertainment and a night of no sleep as I stay up late to devour it!”

  —Patricia Briggs, bestselling author of the Mercy Thompson series

  “Vaughn offers readers one last trip into the world of Kitty Norville, the werewolf talk radio host last seen in 2015’s Kitty Saves the World, in this nostalgic collection of 15 urban fantasy shorts, which splits focus between the delightful Kitty and other fan favorite characters who’ve been caught up in her adventures over the years. Vaughn offers star turns to Kitty’s lawyer husband Ben (‘What Happened to Ben in Vegas’), ancient vampire Rick (‘It’s Still the Same Old Story’), and bounty hunter Cormac (‘Kitty and Cormac’s Excellent Adventure’). Kitty’s own jaunts—which see her attending her high school reunion (‘Kitty Walks on by, Calls Your Name’), dealing with bureaucracy (‘Kitty Busts the Feds’) and investigating a werewolf boxer (‘Kitty Learns the Ropes’)—are suffused with humor and pop culture references. A genuine sense of playfulness abounds, especially in several cute flash fiction pieces about the effects of different lunar events on Kitty’s lycanthropy. Though the uninitiated won’t want to start with this, the insights into Kitty’s supporting cast and illumination of previously unseen moments from the series will delight longtime readers. For those devoted fans, this will be a delicious final taste of Kitty’s complicated life.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Like the rest of the Kitty Norville series, these stories are wise, kind, and always entertaining. I loved returning to Kitty’s world and enjoying these new adventures.”

  —Kevin Hearne, author of The Iron Druid Chronicles

  “For many, reading in the time of COVID-19 is a challenge, making comfort books a good fallback. This collection of paranormal stories of various lengths is a delightful read for those who have enjoyed Vaughn’s novels featuring Kitty Norville, the late-night talk show DJ who was bitten by and turned into a werewolf, including Kitty Rocks the House (2013). Her call-in show featuring all kinds of somewhat monstrous beings made her a national authority on the supernatural, and in her adventures she gets involved with Ben, the love of her life; Conrad, a bounty hunter; Rick, a powerful vampire; and many more. Ten previously published stories are joined by three original tales and the story notes and playlists add interest, though beware of ear worms. While some tales feature Kitty and her associates, others are set in various times and places, such as a paranormal historical story set in Regency England, and one in WWII Germany. A male selkie, a magician, and a manananggal, a horrific monster from Philippine folklore, also appear.”

  —Booklist

  Other Books By Carrie Vaughn

  Kitty Norville Novels

  Kitty and The Midnight Hour (2005)

  Kitty Goes to Washington (2006)

  Kitty Takes a Holiday (2007)

  Kitty and the Silver Bullet (2008)

  Kitty and the Dead Man’s Hand (2009)

  Kitty Raises Hell (2009)

  Kitty’s House of Horrors (2010)

  Kitty Goes to War (2010)

  Kitty’s Big Trouble (2011)

  Kitty Steals the Show (2012)

  Kitty Rocks the House (2013)

  Kitty in the Underworld (2013)

  Low Midnight (2014)

  Kitty Saves the World (2015)

  The Golden Age Saga

  After the Golden Age (2011)

  Dreams of the Golden Age (2014)

  The Bannerless Saga

  Bannerless (2017)

  The Wild Dead (2018)

  Other Novels

  Voices of Dragons (2010)

  Discord’s Apple (2010)

  Steel (2011)

  Martians Abroad (2017)

  Novellas

  The Immortal Conquistador (2020)

  Collections

  Kitty’s Greatest Hits (2011)

  Straying from the Path (2011)

  Amaryllis and Other Stories (2016)

  Kitty’s Mix Tape

  Copyright © 2020 by Carrie Vaughn, LLC

  This is a collected work of fiction. All events portrayed in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. All rights reserved including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form without the express permission of the author and the publisher.

  Introduction: “Kitty and the Missed Opportunity” copyright © 2020 by Emma Bull

  Interior and cover design by Elizabeth Story

  Tachyon Publications LLC

  1459 18th Street #139

  San Francisco, CA 94107

  415.285.5615

  www.tachyonpublications.com

  [email protected]

  Series Editor: Jacob Weisman

  Project Editor: James DeMaiolo

  Print ISBN 13: 978-1-61696-325-5

  Digital ISBN: 978-1-61696-326-2

  Printed in the United States First Edition: 2020

  All copyrights © Carrie Vaughn, LLC, unless otherwise noted.

  “Kitty Walks On By, Calls Your Name” copyright © 2020. Original to this volume.

  “It’s Still the Same Old Story” copyright © 2011. First appeared in Down These Strange Streets, edited by George R. R. Martin and Gardner Dozois (Ace Books: New York).

  “The Island of Beasts” copyright © 2018. First appeared in Nightmare, December 2018.

  “The Beaux Wilde” copyright © 2014. First appeared in Urban Fantasy Magazine, December 2014.

  “Unternehmen Werwolf” copyright © 2013. First appeared in Halloween: Magic, Mystery, and the Macabre, edited by Paula Guran (Prime Books: Germantown, Maryland).

  “Kitty and the Full Super Bloodmoon Thing” copyright 2015. First appeared on carriev.wordpress.com, September 30, 2015.

  “Kitty and Cormac’s Excellent Adventure” copyright © 2020. Original to this volume.

  “Sealskin” copyright © 2015. First appeared in Operation Arcana, edited by John Joseph Adams (Baen Books: New York).

  “The Arcane Art of Misdirection” copyright © 2012. First appeared in Hex Appeal, edited by P. N. Elrod (St. Martin’s Griffin: New York).

  “What Happened to Ben in Vegas” copyright © 2020. Original to this volume.

  “Kitty and the Super Blue Blood or Whatever Moon Thing” copyright © 2018. First appeared on carriev.wordpress.com, January 31, 2018.

  “Defining Shadows” copyright © 2011. First appeared in Those Who Fight Monsters, edited by Justin Gustainis (Edge Publishing: Alberta, Canada).

  “Bellum Romanum” copyright © 2017. First appeared in Urban Enemies, edited by Joseph Nassise (Gallery Books: New York).

  “Kitty Learns the Ropes” copyright © 2010. First appeared in Full Moon City, edited by Darrell Schweitzer and Martin H. Greenberg (Gallery Books: New York).

  “Kitty Busts the Feds” copyright © 2020. Original to this volume.

  Story Notes and Playlist © 2020. Original to this volume.

  Table of Contents

  Introduction: “Kitty and the Missed Opportunity” by Emma Bull

  Kitty Walks on By, Calls Your Name

  It’s Still the Same Old Story

  The Island of Beasts

  The Beaux Wilde

  Unternehmen Werwolf

  Kitty and the Full Super Bloodmoon Thing

  Kitty and Cormac’s Excellent Adventure

  Sealskin

  The Arcane Art of Misdi
rection

  What Happened to Ben in Vegas

  Kitty and the Super Blue Blood or Whatever Moon Thing

  Defining Shadows

  Bellum Romanum

  Kitty Learns the Ropes

  Kitty Busts the Feds

  Story Notes and Playlist

  About the Authors

  Kitty and the Missed Opportunity

  INTRODUCTION BY EMMA BULL

  HERE'S HOW I REMEMBER IT: I had the chance to provide a cover quote for Kitty and the Midnight Hour, and I didn’t.

  Now I should warn you, I’m not the most reliable narrator. Writers love a good story more than almost anything, and when you ask them about their memories, you should expect narrative structure, not strict adherence to fact. Maybe I did provide a quote. But what’s stuck in my head is that I didn’t realize at the time how much I liked and admired that introduction to Kitty Norville, late-night DJ and talk-show host, determined pursuer of truth, and reluctant celebrity werewolf.

  I’d been a DJ at my college radio station. Kitty’s late-night life in front of a microphone, solitary but connected to a host of people she can’t see, felt familiar. That familiarity vouched for the story; if that part was right, it suggested the rest of Kitty’s world was authentic, too. Even the werewolves.

  And what werewolves! They were convincingly both human and lupine, with the instincts of each species, and a mixed social structure that made sense for people who had to live with ordinary humans but keep their difference secret.

  If that makes you think of metaphoric possibilities, I’m not going to warn you off. But you should understand that writers don’t always know when we’re crafting metaphors. Sometimes we discover them as readers do: when we read the finished work and see the subtext, the supporting mesh, of the story we’ve told. Even if we’ve intended a deeper, parallel meaning in a work of fiction, readers may find a different metaphor in the tale, one that hits closer to their lives and experience.

  Fantasy is one of the best mediums for telling two stories (if not more!) at once. They layer on one another: reality and make-believe, life and myth, perception and fact. “Unternehmen Werwolf,” on its face, is the story of a young soldier in World War II tasked with a mission we can’t sympathize with. But the story asks: Can we look past the mission to see the man? “Kitty Learns the Ropes” puts Kitty in a tough place between her two communities, human and werewolf. But underneath the action, it asks a question just as tough: Is it ever right to “out” someone, to take away their control of what the world knows of them?

  Speaking of communities, the characters in these stories (I think of them as Kitty and the friends she hasn’t met yet) don’t move through life alone—like wolves, they need their pack to survive, whether they know it or not. Each story is as much about a community as about individuals, and characters succeed because of the connections they make and the bonds they form with others. The lone hero who triumphs on solo strength, knowledge, and determination? That character may be a regular in adventure fiction, but in the world where we live, that’s more commonly the person whose neighbors are quoted as saying, “They were quiet. Kept to themselves. We had no idea all those bodies were in the basement.” That focus on connection and community is another thing that makes these stories feel real, as if they’re happening right around the corner.

  After I finished Kitty and the Midnight Hour, I found myself telling people, “There’s this book about a woman who’s a DJ on nighttime radio, and she’s secretly a werewolf, and there are more werewolves, and some vampires, but they’re not those sorts of werewolves and vampires—Anyway, you should read it.”

  An audio version of a cover quote, maybe? Definitely an act of community-building.

  The kind folks at Tachyon have allowed me to remedy my original lapse. But now it takes a whole introduction to recommend Carrie Vaughn’s work, because after a series of novels and this delicious collection of short stories, there’s so much more to say. If you aren’t already part of the community—the family—that knows and loves Vaughn’s real and fantastic universe, think of this volume as its Welcome Wagon, arrived on your doorstep with a plate of brownies and an intriguing air of mystery. Go ahead. Invite it in.

  Emma Bull

  March 2020

  Kitty Walks On By, Calls Your Name

  BEN PARKED, and we sat in the car for what seemed like a very long time, not saying anything, staring grimly ahead as if we were about to go into battle.

  “It’s not too late to back out of this,” he said finally. “There’s nothing in the universe that says you have to go to your high school class reunion.”

  Ten years. With everything that had happened to me over the last ten years, it seemed like a century ought to have passed. On the other hand, I could still remember what it felt like to walk down those stinky school halls and worry about grades and graduation and the rest of it. Ben was right, I didn’t need to do this, I didn’t need to be here, and I certainly didn’t need to drag him along.

  He was wearing a suit and tie, his courtroom best, a fresh shave and brushed hair, all the polish and not his meeting-clients-at-the-county-jail-at-two-in-the-morning scruff, which meant he was taking this seriously. I was in a very mature cocktail dress, black with a red belt, in a style that showed off my figure. My blond hair was up, and I’d put on makeup. Retro elegance. Looking in the mirror before we’d left home made me think I ought to dress up more often.

  Did I really want to do this? We could start the car back up and turn around right now.

  I wouldn’t even have known the reunion was happening except Sadie Martinez sent me an email. She’d reached out and practically begged me—she didn’t want to be here alone. Sadie and I had been best friends, study partners, double dating to prom, all of it. And I hadn’t talked to her since junior year of college because I hadn’t talked to anyone since junior year of college. The year I’d been attacked by a werewolf and transformed into something that didn’t normally think much about high school class reunions.

  My life fell into two halves: before I was turned into a werewolf and after. High school was before. It had happened to someone else. Now, I’d walk through those hotel ballroom doors and wouldn’t know anyone, and the ones I did know would be angry that I’d stopped talking to them. If they didn’t run screaming because I was a monster. Because I wasn’t just a werewolf. I hosted a talk-radio advice show on the supernatural and had been caught shape-shifting on national television. I was a famous werewolf.

  Part of why we wanted to turn around was the off chance someone might have brought a gun with silver bullets, thinking they’d be doing the world a favor. But I felt like I owed it to Sadie, after all the years I’d dropped out of sight.

  “Did you go to your high school reunion?” I asked. Ben was enough older than me that his ten-year reunion had happened before I met him a few years ago.

  “Oh hell no,” he said. “I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.”

  “You weren’t even a little bit curious about what happened to people?”

  “Nope.” He grinned. “My dad was in prison by then, I had no interest in explaining all that to that crowd.”

  I was suddenly daunted. I was going to have to explain the werewolf thing over and over again. “Maybe I don’t want to do this,” I murmured.

  “Okay,” Ben said. “Just to get it out in the open, why are we doing this?”

  “Because I’m super curious and this is the kind of thing that only happens once, and if I miss it I’ll always wonder.”

  “All good reasons. Right. Let’s go. We can always ditch if things go sidewise.”

  “But they’re not going to go sidewise. It’s a high school reunion, what could possibly go wrong?”

  He gave me a scowling look. Don’t ever ask what could go wrong, I knew that lesson.

  We left the warm, late-evening June air and entered the excessive air-conditioning of the hotel ballroom lobby. A few people, also in suits and cocktail hour finer
y, mingled, talking in groups. There was nervous laughter. I didn’t recognize anyone, not right away. I looked for Sadie with a sudden spike of fear that I wouldn’t recognize her either.

  Ben guided me toward a table where a couple of unassuming soccer-mom types were standing guard over rows of name-tag stickers. They seemed familiar—one was brunette, average build, and might have been a cheerleader. The other tanned, dark-haired. Also a cheerleader? Maybe we’d had algebra together?

  We found our stickers, and the women’s smiles remained relentlessly cheerful—maybe they didn’t recognize me either. This had been a pretty big high school. So, now what? Just keep wandering around until I recognized someone?

  This wasn’t how high school reunions looked in the movies, where the bitchy popular girls came back as stuck-up suburban housewives, the jocks were out-of-shape used car salesman, the oppressed nerds were billionaire tech geniuses, and the people who were most unhappy had found their way while the people who were bullies got their comeuppance. High school reunion: a chance to right old wrongs and take revenge on the cool kids.

  But that wasn’t how this looked at all. Everyone was scanning faces, walking past each other like we were at some kind of statue gallery, searching for signs of the people we had been years ago. Searching for familiarity. So many of the men—I had to shave twenty pounds off them before they looked familiar, and it wasn’t that they had gotten fat, but that they filled out. They weren’t scrawny boys anymore. Names hovered on the tip of my tongue. I should have looked in the yearbook for a refresher before coming here. We were like deer in the headlights, amazed that any of us had survived at all. Because enough time had passed to make us realize that nobody in high school thought they were cool, they just acted out on their worst insecurities and struggled to get through in one piece.